| Cleaning and Cooking |
| [Sung to the tune of "These are a few of
my favourite things"]
Cleaning and cooking and so many dishes
Out with the hametz, no pasta, no knishes
Fish that's gefillted, horseradish that
stings
These are a few of our Passover things. Matzoh and karpas and chopped up haroset
Shankbones and Kiddish and Yiddish neuroses
Tante who kvetches and uncle who sings
These are a few of our Passover things.
Motzi and maror and trouble with Pharoahs
Famines and locusts and slaves with wheelbarrows
Matzoh balls floating and eggshell that
cling
These are a few of our Passover things.
When the plagues strike
When the lice bite
When we're feeling sad
We simply remember our Passover things
And then we don't feel so bad. |
| Take Me Out To The Seder |
| (To the tune of , of course, "Take Me Out
to the Ballgame!")
Take me out to the Seder
Take me out with the crowd.
Feed me on matzah and chicken legs,
I don't care for the hard-boiled eggs.
And its root, root, root for Elijah
That he will soon reappear.
And let's hope, hope, hope that we'll meet
Once again next year! Take me out to the Seder
Take me out with the crowd.
Read the Haggadah
And don't skip a word.
Please hold your talking,
We want to be heard.
And lets, root, root, root for the leader
That he will finish his spiel
So we can nosh, nosh, nosh and by-gosh
Let's eat the meal!!! |
| The Eight Nights of Passover: |
| (To the tune of 'The Twelve Days of Christmas')
On the first night of Passover my mother
served to me 1) a matzo ball in chicken soup
2) two dipped herbs
3) three pieces of matzah
4) four cups of wine
5) five gefilte fish
6) six capons baking
7) seven eggs a boiling
8) eight briskets roasting |
| Paraoh doesn't Pay |
| (To the tune of "I've been Working on the
Railroad")
We've been working on these buildings;
Pharaoh doesn't pay.
We've been doing what he tells us
Mixing straw with clay.
Can't you hear the master calling,
"Hurry up, make that brick!"
Can't you feel the master whip us
'Til we're feeling sick. Oy vay, it's a mess,
A terrible distress,
Oy vay, it's a mess for Jews, us Jews.
Moshe's in the palace with Pharaoh,
Warning of all God's clout, clout, clout.
Moshe's in the palace with Pharaoh,
And God's gonna get us out!
We're singing . . . .
Fee, Fi, Fiddely eye oh,
Make our matzahs "to go" oh oh oh.
Fee, Fi, Fiddely eye oh,
Stick it to the ol' Pharaoh!
16. Moses Island
(Sung to the tune of Gilligan's Island)
Just recline right back and you'll hear
a tale,
a tale of dreadful trip.
That started with ten awful plagues brought
onto Egypt,
brought unto Egypt.
The boss he was a Jewish man raised as a
Pharaoh's son.
Then G-d he did come calling and soon the
fun begun,
soon the fun begun.
More blood, such frogs, and all those bugs,
Pharaoh could just barely see.
The Jews were really scoring points and
soon they would be free.
and soon they would be free.
They shlepped and shlepped for forty years
across a desert land.
He went up to Mt Sinai and a party soon
began,
a party soon began.
Moses, the Pharaoh too, Aaron and his wife.
Marianne the skipper too here
on the desert island. |
| 'Twas the night after Seder |
, and all through the house
Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.The matzah, the farfel, the charoset I ate,
After both the Sedarim, had gone to my waist.
When I got on the scales there arose such a number!
When I walked over to shul (less a walk than a
lumber),
I remembered the marvelous meals I'd prepared;
The turkey with gravy, the beef nicely rared,
The wine and the matzo balls, the Migdal pareve
cheese
The way I'd never said, "I've had enough; no more,
if you please."
As I tied myself into my apron again
I spied my reflection and disgustedly, then
I said to myself, "you're such a weak wimp,"
"You can't show up at shul resembling a blimp!"
So--away with the last of the meatballs so sweet,
Get rid of the turkey, chopped liver and meat.
Every last bit of food that I like must be banished
Till all the additional ounces have vanished.
I won't have any more macaroons from the box,
I can't wait til next week. (Ah, the bagels and
lox.)
I won't have any luxion, farfel or p'chah,
I'll munch on a carrot or wire shut my own jaw.
It's a three day yom tov and shabbas is still
Ahead of me with another fleshiks meal to fulfill.
If I have to cook one more chicken, I think I will
riot.
So a zisn pesach to you all and to all a good
diet! |
| The Fifth Question |
Wouldn't you think that the person who plans,
The person who changes the pots and pans.
The person who suffers the elbowing crowd,
And brings home the matzo meal, bloody and bowed,
Who battles the butcher, accumulates plates,
And races the clock to those Passover dates.
Who polishes silverware, commandeers chairs,
And goes around muttering "nobody cares".
Who fixes charoset and karpas and eggs,
And winds up with headaches and cramps in her
legs.
Wouldn't you think when the matzo is hid,
SHE merits the prize, not some smart-aleck kid? |
| History of Horseradish |
| While few of the traditional seder foods trace
their origins as far back as matzoh, it should be noted that the lowly
horseradish root also crossed the Red Sea with the fleeing Israelites.
As impoverished slaves, they had access to few
vegetables and the hard and woody horseradish was a household staple. While most of the fleeing Israelites carried with
them horseradish, there is a story told of one family where, while gathering
up their few belongings, discovered that they had no horseradish left in
their house. The wife sent her husband into the field to dig up a large
horseradish root, but in the darkness and confusion, he unearthed a large
ginger root by mistake.
The story continues that after forty years of wandering
in the desert, the Israelites finally entered the promised land.
But it was another year before the family with the ginger arrived to settle
among the rest of the Israelites.
When asked where they had been, the matriarch of
the family, now grown old, shrugged and answered, "My husband insisted
on taking an alternate root." |
| Pesach Lunch |
| 'A Jewish man took his Pesach lunch to eat outside
in the park. He sat
down on a bench and began eating. A little while later a
blind man came by and sat down next to him. Feeling
neighborly,
the Jewish man passed
a sheet of matzoh to the blind man. The blind
man ran his fingers over
the matzoh for a few minutes, looked puzzled,
and finally exclaimed, "Who wrote this nonsense?" ' |
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