harry leichter's jewish humor

Jewish English or "Hebonics"

The Encino School Board has declared Jewish English a second language. Backers of the move say the district is the first in the nation to recognize Hebonics as the language of many of America's Jews.  Here are some descriptions of the characteristics of the language, and samples of phrases in standard English and Jewish English.

 Samples of Pronunciation Characteristics:

 Jewish English or "Hebonics" hardens consonants at the ends of words.
 Thus, "hand" becomes "handt."

 The letter "W" is always pronounced as if it were a "V". Thus "walking"
 becomes "valking"

 "R" sounds are transformed to a guttural utterance that is virtually
 impossible to spell in English. It's "ghraining" "algheady"

Samples of Idiomatic Characteristics:

  Questions are always answered with questions:
 e.g. Question: "How do you feel?"
 Hebonics response: "How should I feel?"

 The subject is often placed at the end of a sentence after a pronoun has been used at the beginning:  "She dances beautifully, that girl."

 The sarcastic repetition of words by adding "sh" to the front is used for emphasis" mountains becomes "shmountains", turtle becomes "shmurtle" Sample Usage Comparisons: 

Standard English Phrase 
Hebonics Phrase
"He walks slow" 
"You're sexy"
"Sorry, i do not know the time"
"I hope things turn out for the best"
" Anything can happen"
"Like a fly in the ointment he walks"
(unknown concept)
"What do I look like, a clock?"
"You should BE so lucky"
" It's never so bad, it can get worse"
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