harry leichter's jewish humor

What New Custom would you like to see Adopted for the Jewish New Year? PERCENT
16%  Dance the Machatanasta - Oy, Macarena
  9%   Have the annual article on the High Holidays in the local paper written by someone who knows what Judaism is all about   8%  Celebrate 5758 by sampling every one of Heinz'  varieties
  8%  Ten minute time limit on how long the Cantor can  spend on one paragraph during Musaf
  8%  Make Rosh Hashana a national USA holiday so we  can have another 3-day weekend and shut up those  who call USA a christian country  7%  Require ALL Jews to observe both days of Rosh Hashanah so boss won't ask - Why do you take two  days off, while Shapiro only takes one  6%  Anyone guilty of talking during services must  apologize to the entire congregation
 6%  Twenty minute time limit on the Rabbi's sermons
 6%  Sprinkle bread crumbs in the water so the fish will  be able to follow you home
 5%  Get a jazz band to back up the shofar blowing
 4%  invite gay and lesbian Jews to participate fully in services without prejudice and hatred
 3%  invite jews to join the republican party and stop  allowing the democrats to take their vote for granted  3%  New addition to Al Chet prayer for a certain  Presidential candidate: For the sin of election year  conversion to a pro-Israel stance, despite having one  of the most anti-Israel records in the Senate

3%  Pray for humor
2%  Celebrate an interactive Sukkot with lulavand@rog
2%  Keep the kids in Junior Congregation ALL DAY
2%  Pour honey over you Mac
2%  Close up the Roach Motel in honor of Roach  Hashanah
1%  Instead of auctioning aliyahs, auction prayer breaks  for snoozing
1%  Prove your fidelity to family values by celebrating  RUSH Hashanah

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