What New Custom would you like to see Adopted for the Jewish New Year?
PERCENT
16% Dance the Machatanasta - Oy, Macarena
9% Have the annual article on the High Holidays in the local
paper written by someone who knows what Judaism is all about
8% Celebrate 5758 by sampling every one of Heinz' varieties
8% Ten minute time limit on how long the Cantor can spend
on one paragraph during Musaf
8% Make Rosh Hashana a national USA holiday so we can have
another 3-day weekend and shut up those who call USA a christian
country
7% Require ALL Jews to observe both days of Rosh Hashanah so boss won't ask - Why do you take two days off, while Shapiro only takes one
6% Anyone guilty of talking during services must apologize
to the entire congregation
6% Twenty minute time limit on the Rabbi's sermons
6% Sprinkle bread crumbs in the water so the fish will be able
to follow you home
5% Get a jazz band to back up the shofar blowing
4% invite gay and lesbian Jews to participate fully in services without
prejudice and hatred
3% invite jews to join the republican party and stop allowing
the democrats to take their vote for granted
3% New addition to Al Chet prayer for a certain Presidential candidate: For the sin of election year conversion to a pro-Israel stance, despite having one of the most anti-Israel records in the Senate
3% Pray for humor
2% Celebrate an interactive Sukkot with lulavand@rog
2% Keep the kids in Junior Congregation ALL DAY
2% Pour honey over you Mac
2% Close up the Roach Motel in honor of Roach Hashanah
1% Instead of auctioning aliyahs, auction prayer breaks for snoozing
1% Prove your fidelity to family values by celebrating RUSH Hashanah
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