the schmooze
stories
by
Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe
Syosset, New York
www.marjoriegottliebwolfe.com

20 Questions* For Eliot Spitzer
A Comic Proposal
A Banished Word List for "Der Yid"?
A is for Abecedarian
"A" is for "Adolph"
A Picture "Knepl" For Paul
A Suggested "Bucket List" For Jewsnu
A War with Di Tsung
A Yiddisher Mama Shares a List of Great Christmas Lies
Advice For Daddy-To-Be, Al D'Amato
Antoyshung for Orthodox Jew on Season 5 Of the Apprentice
"Aktsent"* Or No"Aktsent,"She's Still A Yiddishe Mamme
Acceptable "F" Words
Advertising to the Jewish Airline "Pasazhir"
Ambien...With A Side Of Rugelach
...and Have a "Gliklekh"* Cholesterol-Free Thanksgiving
Ann Landers Speaks A "Bisel" Yiddish
Are You a "Gantser K'nacker"?
Are You a "Kikh" (Kitchen) Stranger?
Be "Frayndlekh" to "Der Shrayber"
Be "Frayndlekh" To Editors And Writers Month
Be Fruitful And Multiply
Billy Crystal, Your Home Looks "Mahvelous"
Boomerang Kids
Bubbles--You Made Great "Muzik" (1929-2007)
Bury The "N" Word? "Narrishkayt"
B.Y.O.C. (Bring Your Own Chopsticks), Disposable Chopsticks, and Chopsticks "Etiket"
Cold? 'Influentsie"?(Flu?) 'Lungen-Entsindung"? (Pneumonia?)
Cohabitation Is "Shlekht"* For Women's Health
Collecting The Shards of the "Mazel-Tov" Glass
Cooking like a Jewish "Bobe"
Conversation Stoppers at the Bookmark Apartments
Cussing Folk: It's a "Shonda"
Cut, Style and "Daven"
Empty Nest Syndrome
Es Vet Helfn Vi A Toytn Bankes
Dear Latchkey "Man"
Diagnosing The Illness In "Akhtsn" (18) Minutes
"Di Katastrofe" of Marital Disputes
Di Shviger (The mother-in-law)
'Di Unterban" Encourages 'Der Shidekh"
Dick & Jane - Oy, What a Por
Dressupyourtate.com
Don't Be A Weiss Guy
Doing "Gut" Feeling "Beser"
Eat a Little Something...then Stretch and Kvetch
Egg Creams They're Batampt
Elvis Lives In Plastic...And Other News About 'kredit"
E-mail, Email, or "Elektronish Post"?
Eulogy for the Jewish Bunka Lady
Everyone Kvetches
Everything A Nice Jewish Grandmother Learned About Tattoos
Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Kinky Friedman
Freg Mich Becherim!
Freshman "Tsen" (10)
Gracie Allen for President of a Third Party -- "Der Khidesh" Party
Graduation 2006
Great Moments In Shopping History
Greetings from camp "Etiket"
"Groys" Words
Guthartsikayt
Gvald! I'm In A daze of InTAXication
Happiness is Having a "Shtele"
Harvard Shmarvard: In 2005 It's Trump University
Help! I'm Suffering From "Siddur Finger"
Home for 'Der Zumer
How to Redn Deli
How I Learned a 'Bisl' Yiddish by Reading a Cookbook
I Could have Sworn I parked it right here
I Read Part of the Book All the Way Through
I'm Seeing "Royt"
Infertility 'Iz Nisht" A Laughing Matter
Inquiring Minds Want To Know A 'Bisl' Yiddish
Instant Tsufridnkayt
Internet Addiction
Is Everything "Shlecht' For You?
Is Hillary "Farklempt"
It Takes a "Yiddisher Kop" to Teach Math and Science
It's CH, CH, Like You Have Popcorn in the Throat; It's CCHHH
Jamie Lynn Spears Is "Shvanger" and Other Bad News
JDate at a Bulk Rate
Joel Siegel We'll Miss You
Joey Bishop--We'll Miss You
Join Me in Sitting Shiva for the 2nd Avenue Deli
"Kaledzh" Graduation
Keep Your "Gopl"
'Kompyuter' Dating Services Fixer Who Do Your Own Thing
"Lakhn" is the Yiddish word  meaning "to laugh"
"Ligner! Ligner!" (Liar! Liar!)
Look Who's "Kveln"
Look Who's Talking Yiddish
Mad Mel
Mama, I Got 80% On The AP Physics Exam; And, By The Way, I'm "Shvanger"nu
Menschdom
'Mishpucha "(Family) Day" Sept. 26, 2005
"Mobile Entertainment" Name That Song
Money is Round - Sometimes It's Here, Sometimes It's There
National Cheesecake Day
Never "Esn" at Mom's Place
My Friends Are Making Me Zoftik
Noo Yawk Talk
Now I Lay Me Down To "Shlof'
NU? What's with the Educational Jargon?
"OY"--The BIG Two-Letter Yiddish Word
Oy Gevalt! I Don't Get It
Papa, Can You Hear Me?
Passover for Dummies
Passover on the Web
Pisk Melokhe
Playing The Numbers Game
Postponement of Death
Purim S.A.T.
Putting The "Thanks" In Thanksgiving
Proms Are 'Vunderlekh" (Wonderful) The "Tsveyter" (Second) Time Around
Redn Iz Billik? (Talk is cheap?)
Reminiscing: "Es gefelt mir"
RIP, Morty Seinfeld You Were A 'Richtiger Mensch'
Robot Redford, Humphrey Robot, & Mr. Millennia
Sermons 101
Sew What's Nu?
"SH/SCH" Words - As much fun as to say Sheybogin
SHHHHH - The New "Non-Vort" is Hungry
Show-and-tell In "Tsveyter Klas"
Snippets of Conversation
SpongeBob (AKA "ShvomBob")is Missing
Staging a Heym
Staycation, Kidcation, Seniorcation, Or "Oyveycation"
Stop Does Mean Stop "Gut gezogt." (Well said)
Stop-Light Diet
Stop, Shtarker
Survivor Series "Draytsn" (13)
"T" is for "Tsedakah"
Tata, Won't You Dance With Me?
Targeting The Illness
Teach me Yiddish Vort
Thanksgiving 2007
Thanksgiving mit the Romano's
The Big Megillah vs. Magilla Gorilla
The Business Owner's Guide to Yiddish
The "C" Word--Cockamamie
The Case of the Missing Blintz
The Commencement Speaker Is "Robot Redford"
The "F" Word--Forgiveness
The "R" Word...It Isn't "Rugelach"
THE G.M.A.T.
The Halvah Man
The Jeans Test
The Number "Zibn" (7)nu
The Plaint of the Jewish Office "Arbeter
The September 11 "Telefon" (Telephone) Call
The Tson Fairy
The Will to Live
The Yiddish SAT
These Are a Few of My Favourite "F" Words
To Kvetch Or Not To Kvetch? That Is The Kvetchtion
Two Stories for 2007
Vanity Zip Codes
Vart Tsee A Minit! Ikh Pish Zakh Nokh Oys
Welcome to Air Chance
Welcome To The 'Matsliakhdik"* Employment Agency...Press "Eyns"
Wake Up and Smell "Di Kave"
Wanted: Jewish "Mishpokhe" To Swap A Wife nu
Wendy Wasserstein, R.I.P.
Who is "Der Tate?"
Wild Bloy Yonder
Wifely Duties
Writing for Yiddish Publications
Yiddish In 'Der Oytomobile' Showroom
Yiddish "Mit" Jerry and Anne
Your Baby's First "Akhtsik" (80)Years
Yiddish Quiz For Bibliophiles
You Gotta Have Harts
Zeks-Vort Limit

A Jewish Mother's Answering Machine at the National "Veder" (Weather) Service
From "Amniosynthesis" To "Testtube": A Dictionary For Daddy-to-be, Tiger Woods
From Pennsylvania 6-5000 to the "Kosher Tselularer Telefon"
God can Create a Woman From a Rib, but can he make the Perfect Brisket? Brisket Stories, Humor, and Advice
Goodbye Chicken Soup And "Gehakhter Leber" (Chopped Liver); Hello, Chase Bank
Harry Potter Likes Chocolate Eclairs, Chocolate Gateau, Cockroach Clusters, & Exploding Bon-bons; I Like "Chocolitvak"
Holy Moses! Pope Benedict Smacks Down On "Shiker" Drinkers, Speeding, And In-car "Zind"
No problem is so big that it can't be fixed with pastrami...and other motherly advice
You Can't Mess With Zagat - Have the 2nd Avenue Deli Cater Your Thanksgiving Dinner
___________________________________________
Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe is the author of
two books:
yiddish for dog and cat loversbook
"Yiddish for Dog & Cat Lovers" and
"Are Yentas, Kibitzers, & Tummlers Weapons of Mass Instruction?  Yiddish
Trivia."  To order a copy, go to her
website: MarjorieGottliebWolfe.com


NU, what are you waiting for?  Order the book!

Yiddish Stuff
Jewish Humor
Schmooze News
More Majorie Wolfe
Principle
Jewish Stories
All Things Jewish
Jewish Communities of the World
Site Designed and Maintained by
Haruth Communications